The past to week in school have been…. out of the ordinary. For one I seem to be making more friends. Throughout my college carrier it has been rare for me to make friends and keep them. I tend to no call or text as they do too. But here where I start seeing more familiar faces I am gaining more. Starting as study buddies but being talking about life. 

However that is not really what made this week a bit more unusually started on my commute to work in north Hollywood around 4am in the morning. I realized that in about one semester I would be graduating with my BA. I freaked a little. I have no idea what is going to happen. I have no idea where I am going to go and what I am going to do. I have been in school working towards a BA for almost 10 years.  I also had my usual I am single freak out. This time 2 years ago I was in a serious relationship (yes it was on rough ground by this time but it was still going and I was still in love) and was happy with the fact that I had someone to go through all those rough parts of life and good parts of life with me. Well like I said that was 2 years ago, I have now been single for almost a year and a half, with not prospects which on a normal day does not get to me (anymore). That morning though it added to my unsurity (yet I know I made up a work) because I do not have someone to spend my life with and I am 26. I began crying, now I am not sure how many of you start to have a major tear jerker in your car but it is not safe. Tears accumulating in my eyes and running down my face, as I try to wipe them off before I get to work so it does not look like I was crying. My day continues on with this freak out in the back of my mind but continuing with my head as high as I could constantly biting my lip with the thought. For those of you who know me, you know I have been in college since I was 18 (minus 1 semester off); not knowing what I wanted to do for a degree let alone a career. But I am and have always been determined to get that degree because I know both of my grandfathers (who have passed) want me to and because I want to.

                I later that same day I had a meeting with my advisor. She finds out that I only have 3 more classes to take for my degree, I thought I had 5. She explains to me a little about the exit interview I will be doing and the grammar diagnostic I need to get done. I then fill out graduation paper work. It did not hit me until she went to go copy it. A sudden rush of excitement hit me. I AM GOING TO BE GRADUATING NEXT SEMESTER. Holy frick, seriously? This is great! As my meeting continues my excitement grows. She begins to ask me what I plan to do after and I tell her that I have been toying with either with credentials or with a masters. If I go for credentials, I would not be able to work. My weeks would be filled with student teaching, lesson plans and classes to fulfill all the requirements. I would have to move back home (this while a fezable financial option is a hard personal option because let’s just say that while my parents love me they would not approve of certain things in my life and do not approve of certain ways that I live life). So a year of is of course a needed thing to build money… then maybe a masters. My advisor gives me a couple ideas all that initially don’t have both a want and a good decision to find a job after. They tell me one that she says is really hirable and that community colleges/junior colleges like it. Another holy frick, thank you! It is still something in the English realm but also HIREABLE. While I am very creative I have my mother Achilles heel when it comes to my creative life, I have a nagging how are you going to survive with that practical side.   This made my week go from eh, to exciting. When I walk I may only get a fake diploma until I get it mailed but I will have finally finished. Maybe I will be my normal klutzy self and trip over my feet at my graduation.

Advertisements