You know those dreams that totally fuck up your head. Then you let your impulses overtake you and you do something that you know you probably shouldn’t have. That’s what this idiot did. So I wake up in the middle of the night from a real fucked up dream. Here was the dream: 

I ran into a guy that I thought was my ex-boyfriend. For previous history the ex-boyfriend is the ex-boyfriend that I just can’t seem to get out of my head, even when I think I do, bam, he re-appears. Anyway so I run into ‘my ex-boyfriend’ and he asked he wanted to catch up so we did. Of course in dream time this flashes by and we are all of a sudden walking by his apartment invites me in and then shortly after we have sex. Flash forward all of a sudden this guy has long fucking hair and then I realize it’s not my ex. We argue as we put on clothes then his girlfriend walks in I say sorry and that he’s a tool and get out. Shortly after I run into my actual ex, and then the dream ends.

When I woke up I didn’t know what to think. I kept thinking about it and thinking about. The thing is I had been thinking of contacting him but EVERY ONE of my friends said I shouldn’t. Well because of this dream, I let my impulses take over and I sent him an email. Short just asking him how he’s doing and telling him that I was finally graduating. My head goes, if you ever want to be his friend again you need to contact him and before you know it I hit the send button…. then instantly think, Fuck I can’t believe I just did that. I just fucking did that. I put myself on a limb and jumped. Truth be told I don’t know if I could or should have him in my life. But I just made a step where it might happen. 

At the end of the day though, whether I should or shouldn’t have the fact is I did and I no longer have to wonder what would happen if I contacted him. (At least that is what I keep telling myself).