You know when you were a kid and parents punished you in different ways? And while they all had there proven methods and different outcomes there was always that one thing that affected you the most. For me it was the yelling proceeded by the inevitable silence and loneliness of the corner. In all cases that one punishment seems to be that shadow that walks around you. It pears its ugly head when fights with loved one occur. The yelling and lecturing of how you fucked up followed by silence. While the silence for the yeller is to calm down the silence for the person being yelled at is like the silence of the corner. Sometimes the silence of the corner is preceded by forgiveness yet other times it is preceded by further punishment. It is a fear that I still struggle with and get anxiety about. While my fear is no where near the fear of an abused child it is still a
fear I struggle with and when fights occur with friends and I am the culprit of the wrong doing I still feel the child like fear and loneliness that I had when I was a young child. Shame of doing something wrong, loneliness of being shunned and fear that nothing will ever be the same again.