My relationship with food is a damaged one and it needs to be repaired. When I begin binging because I need comfort or to feel anything else it creates a cycle that spirals down. Once I indulge in those foods my stomach fills up and my head mounts with grief as I feel guilty about what I ate.  To start repairing this I am making the extreme change in my diet to a Paleo style diet. there are multiple reasons for this dietary habit that I have chosen. one is that it is hard and there will be times I won’t be successful. The point is that I can pull myself away from the guilt I feel in letting myself down as well as the feeling of letting those I love down. Is this true disappointment? No, it is not. The disappointment with those I love is all in my head. This diet also has forced me to do research to ensure that I change my diet to the paleo diet correctly, know all that it entails. The last is for my over-all health, I have been experiencing more aches and pains, more exhaustions and if it is connected to my eating habits I want to find out.  So today I ate 2 slices of a cake I had baked. It was delicious and I did feel bad about eating it. Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow I will strive for success at work and in eating.  A good thing about going paleo is i have my boyfriend by my side. He has chosen to do this with me (minus the 12 pack in the fridge) which will be a huge help.

ever expanding together

stomach and guilt, outward  and larger they grow

continuously flowing until the feeding stops

stomach fills and guilt does not

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